Couples Counseling
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    A safe place to talk, to find understanding and to explore new directions

    Being a couple

    Being a couple is more than just being friends, more than simply having a
    sexual relationship. When we become a couple, we create something greater
    than the sum of two people.   This union is powerful and important, as
    shown by the commitment and desire to be a couple and the pain caused if it
    fails or breaks down.

    When we become a couple and fall in love, we invest part of ourselves in a
    new shared identity, which provides us with intimacy and safety.  Although
    we might not notice; it also becomes our greatest challenge.

    As a couple we create a container which holds all our hopes, fears and
    desires.   When a relationship works, it leads to an immensely fulfilling life.
    However, as many of us find out, it is not always like that. We may realize
    that the friendship is not what we expected. Our chosen partner is not quite
    the person we imagined them to be.  The container of our couple starts to
    feel less secure.

    Many people are able to adjust to life changes and reshape the relationship,
    but in some cases, change feels as if the container is breaking up, the
    foundations are cracking. Disappointment, fear, anger and resentment begin
    to replace the initial hopes. It is at this point that help is required.

    Getting Help

    The sooner problems are noticed, the easier they are to resolve.  Sometimes,
    professional psychotherapy is all that is needed, providing a space for the
    couple to think and to explore their situation.

    Psychotherapy can offer the opportunity to understand the deeper, more
    unconscious blockages and patterns in a relationship.  This frequently links to
    our earliest and most powerful emotional experiences.  Through mutual
    understanding, a couple often finds new ways of thinking and new strategies
    for enjoying their relationship.

    What Happens

    Talking to a psychotherapist about one's most private and intimate
    relationship is a brave thing to do.   Seeking professional help is a big step
    toward dealing with these issues, and it takes courage.

    Through experience we know that difficulties between couples are very
    rarely due to just one person.   We are complex individuals with all sorts of
    fears, hopes, fantasies, and needs.   A psychotherapist provides a place where
    these issues can be explored and expressed without the world coming to an
    end.  Therapy is a space in which anything can be said, but these words need
    not lead to action until a strategy becomes clear..

    We all realize that difficulties cluster around major events; for instance,
    trading the single life for coupledom, having a baby, financial difficulties,
    sexual differences, career changes, lifestyle changes, or retirement.  
    Therapists take seriously the many mixed and diverse feelings that exist in
    these situations.  We help the couple make sense of those experiences.

    As a couples therapist, I offer a space in which difficult feelings can be
    explored between the couple without judgment or blame. My role is to
    provide a safe and informed place in which a couple can become clear about
    what is happening between them, allowing them to make healthy choices.  
    Therefore, couples can move on and make decisions with greater
    understanding and certainty.

    Through my professional experience, I help couples more truthfully know
    themselves and each other.  This leads to a better understanding of how their
    inner selves are affecting their day-to-day, outer lives.

    This is not an easy process. There is much at stake for couples, families, and
    individuals who are facing such difficulties. The journey may be hard, but the
    rewards are great. An initial consultation will enable you to discover whether
    psychotherapy will be a way forward for you.
Professional Offices
126 Church Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
415-425-2521
Counseling in San Francisco
Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples